were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
