Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
