so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
