Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Did we literally take a cab across the street
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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