My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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