If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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