I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
i think my cat just said my name.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
