I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
