I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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