how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
