I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Randomize
