That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
