There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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