he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
