Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
