she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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