she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
only if we run a train.
done.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
