Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
