I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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