found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
