ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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