Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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