is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Randomize
