I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
