its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize