You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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