you traded sex for a burrito?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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