I think I just saw someone hide a body.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
