if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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