And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
