i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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