I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
