Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
