Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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