I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
