her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
