White coat. Heels.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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