Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I am naked and annoyed.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
