cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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