yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
