I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
