my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize