Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
