kristin has been a bad kristin
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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