He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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