We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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