did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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