Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
My vagina is officially offended.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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