Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
