Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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