Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize