Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
