she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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