This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
