How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize