So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
