I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
