so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
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