he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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