You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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